Christian Coaching - The Art of Biblical Conflict Resolution

Conflict happens. It starts with the difficulty of pulling the covers off and stepping out of bed. So far so good. You shower, eat, drive to work, then something happens. (You knew it would, right?)

Trouble can come from every direction. A missed appointment causes a client to miss a deadline. A salesperson (maybe even you!) promises more than your business could deliver. A customer finds a defect in one of your best sellers that needs repairing right away.

We all know that setbacks are going to occur in life. difficulties that strain relations between you and your prospect. difficulties that can cause disappointment and mistrust to build. Will this mean the end of a once profitable relationship?

Not necessarily, when tensions rise between you and a client, it may be time for a real conversation. It is time to become transparent and address the problem that is causing trouble. But how do you keep a ugly conversation from becoming a full-scale argument that forever damages relations with your friend?

Here are 4 tips to get you through the hard talks that can make or break your business. Interpersonal obstacles or your hot buttons as they are called, are the emotional responses set off by the words or actions of others during tough conversations. You feel triggered during conflict when you think the other person's words or actions as threatening to your being in some way. Common blockers include real or perceived threats to your competence, worth, freedom, and sense of belonging.

Your hot buttons can trip you up in argument because they cause you to misrepresent, switch off, lash out, or go off on the wrong trail. They also launch a set of emotional responses that may cause to expansion.

When you are exploding, your brain may encounter what is described as a neural hijacking. The brain concludes a threat, announces an calamity and moves into engagement. This taking over occurs so fast that the conscious, thinking portion of the brain does not yet fully process what is happening.

So, you are going ahead blindly. While saying he rubs me the wrong way suggests it is the other persons duty to leave you alone, only you can deal with your own triggers. Everyone's bait is a little different, so what triggers me may not trigger you. This is why blaming others for baiting you is not very productive. You waste energy expecting them to change and do the right thing, when only you can change your own reactions.

How do you sidestep a trap instead of point fingers? Here are some effective principles for acknowledging, noticing, and monitoring conflict sparks. Start with reflecting your self. Keeping your self in check during difficult circumstances is in a large part dependent upon the evaluation you do when you are not in conflict.

Learn what triggers you and why you are set off. Get back to the bottom of it. A coach is an excellent resource to walk you through the process. Ignoring your intentions is like building a house without planning. Teach yourself alternative responses. Once you are less intense situations. You probably would not take Spanish 101 and then offer your services as an guru. By using your new skills often when the critical situation develops, you will be prepared to handle and masterfully defuse the situation.

In the beginning of the foray, step back. Assess your physiological state, body language and spoken communication. A hot face, sweating, yelling takes for your emotional flooding to ebb.

Beware of venting as a default method. While it is a popular notion that venting makes people feel better and aids getting the emotional buzz out of the way, research suggests that if you use this practice over and over, the opposite effect occurs. While it may take it away in the moment, venting anger as your normal mode may make you more angry and push your body and brain into a more intense state of anxiety or rage.

God's Word tells us in Proverbs 26:4,5 says, the fool must be answered but not in a foolish manner. Studies show that anger is a obstacle for every Christian. Sinful anger comprises roughly 90 percent of all counseling issues . While it is not wrong to act in anger since the purpose of the emotion is to motivate. It is wrong if it is not used properly. It must be used to honor God. After all, anger is a compelling stimulus that God built into man with the desire of moving him to Scriptural action. Rage and anger are two separate emotions. Anger is appropriate in communication of feelings in reverberation to someones behavior. Jesus got angry. Mark writes to us that Jesus turned on the Pharisees in anger (3:5). John reminds us of Jesus driving out the moneychangers from the house of God (2:17). God, Himself is angry with the wicked everyday (Psalm 7:11).

To presuppose anger as wrong without qualification constitutes a careless and capricious use of scripture. Our emotional mix is from God. All of our emotions when used in love are blessed. Emotions become harmful when we fail to express them in conformity with Biblical limitations and structures. The Bible also teaches us to be angry AND sin not! Biblically appropriate anger can become inproper anger in two ways. By the ventilation of anger and by the internalization of anger. That is by blowing up and clamming up. The scriptural way to handle anger is to focus it on the circumstance not toward the person. Deal with it fast, and regain the relationship. Putting the other before yourself.

Michael Young is an experienced Christian coach and author who has coached others to success in their life, business, and relationships. Would you like to see how Michael can help you bring your dreams to life? Click here Christian Life Coaching Life Coaching - Complimentary Session Click here Life Coaching Session

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