By Pamela Nathan | Submitted On July 25, 2006
Ask yourself ‘so what?’ Accurately assess what is at stake.
Look at your intention. Be honest,state your intentions, and make sincere invitations.
Face your fears. Ask yourself ‘what is the worst that can happen?’ Dare to say it. E.g. I’m really angry. Although the sheer thought, of conflict may be overwhelming, it is always better to address any internal issues that you have with yourself or altercations that you have with others than to sweep it aside in avoidance. At the time of the conflict, it may be mentally draining. However, you must remember that it will only benefit you and those affected in the future.
Stay centered. Remember the basics of pleasure, especially breathing. Be aware of where you end and everything else begins.
Give up being right. Favor being present rather than winning. Express yourself accurately rather than trying to control the outcome.
Be open to feedback. Know that each individual possesses an opinion of his or her own. In addition, when you decide to be attentive to what others are saying, listen and do not interrupt. There will be time for you to talk after the person has finished their bit.
Go slowly. Set the tempo for conversations that is slow enough to be comfortable.
Express your truth. Preferences may differ. Allow yourself to have an opinion. Report how you feel. Don’t be defensive or hostile. Communicate congruently without blaming.
Describe what is annoying you. Do not be judgmental.
Suggest solutions. It does not necessarily mean that you are in agreement. You can agree to disagree.
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