It is easy to lock horns, sometimes with those near and dear, about opinions on favorite subjects…like religion, politics, and finances. This list is endless.
Understanding the cost of conflict is a major factor in persuading contesting parties to attempt conflict resolution and turn their conflict into collaboration. Stewart Levine in his excellent book “Getting to Resolution – Turning Conflict into Resolution” identifies four costs of conflict: direct costs, productivity costs, continuity costs, and emotional costs.
For the majority of the population, getting into conflict is either frightening or frustrating — or both. And, like many things that scare us, we try to avoid it in the future. Here’s the simple truth: if you want the problem or conflict to go away, you have to work to find a solution. That means facing your fears, your apprehensions, and the other person and working through the conflict.
Teaching kids to deal with conflict effectively and peacefully is perhaps the biggest challenge facing adults today. Children’s disagreements both at home and at school can be noisy, physical and psychologically hurtful. The approach to conflict resolution learned and practised in childhood often stays for life.
In the last few decades, partners have spent countless hours trying to “work out problems.” Yet over and over again they often come up against a major roadblock: they just don’t see things the same way. No matter how long they talk and how hard they try, neither ends up feeling really heard and understood.
If you’re always there to solve the problem for them, children will never learn how to problem-solve themselves. Instead of solving their problems for them, teach them how to resolve conflicts. Only after they’ve tried to solve the problem themselves are they allowed to come to you for help. Learn how in this blog post.
Whenever you work with people, conflict is inevitable. The tension created by daily conflict either results in wasted time, decreased productivity, and poor decisions or the sort of internal competition that pushes each individual to do their best, if for no other reason that convince their coworkers that they can do it.